"Ladies and gentlemen and those who are yet to decide, JOBRIATH..."

I am Jazzily Deep in the Cold

I feel it in my head
In my body
In my being
I feel it in my mind
In my skin
In my hands
In my psyche
I feel it in the Earth
In my loneliness
In my anger
In my waking dreams
I feel it in my impatience
In my sadness
In my regretting acceptance
In my bandagd heart
I see it in the eyes of my friends
In my frustrated mother's
In my old father's
And in my dark, blind brother's
How I long to feel the hands and arms and cold feet of a lover
Of someone without this small town under his, her feet
Unafraid of everything
Unafraid of torturous responsibility and going on faith
Unafraid of freedom
Unafraid of loss and forgiveness
Unafraid of change
O how I see the seasons change and want to bust with running feet and falling tears like rain cooling pavement
Icy dreams, let the snow fall and cover me so I may finally rest my sacred, scared and troubled mind
Let the sun warm the cool snow and may the Earth feel me there
And let the building take notice and the pavement welcome me home
Let the hope of the future bring me to contentedness and the beauty and quiet and strength in today's moments keep me blessed and present now
Let me live the life I please in present and know I an free for expression and love and will always find love from others
Let the music play jazzily deep in the air

Revelation!: Ah-ha moments for the Androgynous

Life is not made up of good and bad, or even a mixture of both.
It's an endless stream of positives and negatives.
There can be no healing without first the struggle.
There can be no acceptance without at first resentment.
There can be no courage without at first fear and no strength without at first weakness.
People are people, there's no denying that, but to dream a  dream of overcoming what you are faced with externally and internally is masterful, and the feeling is close to heaven on Earth, that feeling of contentedness and seeing the polarity of our blessed world. 

The Meaning of Androgynous

1. Biologically having the same characteristics as a male and female, hermaphroditic.

2. Being neither distinguishably masculine or feminine, as in dress, appearance or behavior.

I can't think of anything more fun than being androgynous. I'm not a hermaphrodite, but I love my boy hips as my mom calls them. I like having my hair cut short (I recently went to a barber shop and like it a lot). I also like wearing pants opposed to dresses, but often I wear both. In this day and age anyone can be androgynous. More and more people are blurring the gender and even sexuality lines. The info pamphlet for the queer youth group I attend once a week puts the entire acronym for the gay community which should more than ever be called the queer community. I once looked upon it with dumbfoundedness and then understanding. Instead of just LGBT or LGBTQ it looked like this: LGBTQQIAP. Now, since I filled out the anonymous questionnaire every time, where we check each box we identify ourselves by (along with our gender if we want), I now know what all of these stand for. There's more!

Lesbian

Gay

Bisexual

(Gender) Queer 

Ouestioning

Intersex

Asexual

Pansexual (my personal favorite sexuality)

Also: Gender Fluid

I find all these sexual identities extemely refreshing. I end up checking almost every box every time! I usually check both male and female boxes, because I belief we have both feminine and masculine qualities in us. I love the freedom of these boxes, because I remember filling out a survey, and having to check "Gay", "Lesbian" or "Straight". I blanked. Then I checked "Gay", because it was sort of an umbrella term in my eyes. Freedom to identify however one may wish is a definite privelage in my eyes.

definition from www.freedictionary.com

image from http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkc07sOZlZ1qhjq45o1_400.jpg

Men in heels and men in skirts

Girls wearing suits with the works

Night-clubs, bars, and ferris wheels

Fireworks, kisses

Rainy steals

Thunder, lighting, photographing

College, posting, happily boasting

Dancing, prancing, spontaneous romancing

And tea, lots of tea for me

Hahhhhh....(ocean).....

Why I Write

I write because I leak ink
As well as Blood
Naturally
I write because I feel music
I write because I love people
I write because I sing made up words
And quote movies and plays, and musicals
And love words
And read words
With their glory in tact
I love to write
And I'll always write my soul with my whole heart.

"If you're not busy being born, you're busy dying."
-Bob Dylan